Hey all you sexy motherfuckers! I’m here and ready for you to call me for some really wild and crazy adult phone chat. If you’re a freak like me, you were probably getting jiggy with it all weekend, too! Oh my God. I did some things this weekend that even kind of amazed me, and if you know me at all, you know that’s really saying something. I could tell you now but I kinda want it to be a surprise, so you’re gonna have to dial my number to hear about it. It’ll be much more fun to hear what happened in my voice than it would be to read it.
Okay fine. I’ll tell you a little bit of what happened. I was out behind one of the trucks down at the truck stop, and these guys asked if they could have a contest to see what the weirdest or biggest thing they could fit in my cunt would be. And you know that I said yes, of course! I know men are perverts by nature, but you should’ve seen the amount of things there were bringing out just to stretch me open and fill me up with.